Russell 3.6

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair…”

Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

Last year on my 36th birthday, I thought I had reached the ceiling of life here on earth. I couldn’t fathom living a better life, or having better friends or family. The Monday following my birthday, I learned the hard way that the higher you are, the farther you can fall. This isn’t a post to psychoanalyze the how’s and why’s of how my life crashed, but I am definitely here to describe the process of my own, ongoing, personal metamorphoses.

I have a hard time describing the hell I’ve gone through for the last few months. It came out of nowhere, and totally consumed me. From all outside cues, my life couldn’t have been any better. I had just recently completed a life-goal of completing a marathon (under my time goal). I just attended my first U2 concert. I even received an unexpected (and nice) raise at work. There were so many great things that happened in 2011 that it’s hard to figure out how I got to the place I ended up.

Where I ended up was weeks and weeks of 2-4 hours of sleep per night. Weeks of thinking about when I can take my next Xaxex. Months of relying on Paxil. The loss of 15 lbs. on a frame that was already thin to begin with. The lack of desire to be out in public for a guy that loves hanging with people. Coming home at lunch and doing nothing but cry uncontrollably for an hour. Getting to a point where I prayed multiple times for God to come quickly because I couldn’t take this feeling any more.

Don’t forget, this all comes in the middle of the most incredibly rewarding year of my life.

Again, I’m not here to figure out the physical or mental reasons this might have happened. I’m here to tell you that it was a necessary, and grace-filled, season that God allowed me to go through. Up to then, I’d been more than a “good little Christian boy”. I was actively involved church, studied theology in my free time, and didn’t engage in any of the “big” sins (drugs, alcohol, swearing, etc.). But I had plenty of not-so-blind spots in my life that needed to be fixed.

Years ago in college I heard a testimony from someone who prayed to God one night to do whatever it took to allow him to be closer to God. The next day he had an accident that nearly took his life. As you might suspect, his prayer was answered and his relationship was taken to another level. I’ve always wanted to pray that prayer, but I’ve always been afraid to. I really didn’t want God to do whatever it takes, especially if that meant losing a loved one or something similarly tragic. I even lamented these thoughts here on this blog a few years back. God knew that, and I believe he did the next best thing since I was unwilling to ask Him myself. God brought me to my knees in such a way that I had no choice but to rely solely on Him to get out of the pit. Rather than losing someone close, or even my lot in life, I lost the closest thing I could think of. I lost myself.

The process sucked, as you can imagine. But the process fixed some gaping holes in mine and God’s relationship. For example, I have always had a problem with praying on a consistent basis, but now I pray all day long. I start every morning with this prayer: “God, guide my eyes, my ears, my mouth, my mind, my feet and my hands. Be my guide today.” I set aside time in my lunch break to pray specifically for others. I pray every night with my son, something I had never done in his previous eight years. I read from the Bible and pray every night right before bed. Not to mention the continuous prayers throughout the day for strength, and of thanksgiving.

There are many other things that I’ve been able to adjust in my life through this experience that I would never have been able to do without this “holy push”. Too many to say in this already long blog post, but today I am eternally thankful for the people God put in my life to get me through this. The words and deeds of those around me were invaluable. I’m not back to were I was in August 2011, but I think that was sort of the point.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble.

But take heart!

I have overcome the world.” —John 16:33

Filed under: Life

Ain’t Nothin’ Gonna Break My Stride

Do you ever count your blessings?

So often I find myself focusing on one thing, or a small group of things, that could potentially ruin my day, only to find myself counting the blessings and realizing they far outweigh the bad.

Take today for example. It easily could have been written off as a very bad day. Things happened and situations arose that aren’t what I would call optimal for a happy day. But unwinding in the shower tonight I realized that those things paled in comparison to the rest of the day.

I began my day by dropping Tanner off at my mother’s house (for all eight years of his life he’s never once had to stay with someone other than family). I was able to chat with my mom and grab my usual coffee.

From there I drove a whole five miles to work in a car that I absolutely love. The sun was bright and my commute includes a bridge over a very scenic landscape.

At work I was able interact with good friends. Did I mention I get paid to be on Facebook and Twitter? It’s a tough gig but someone has to do it. Early on I received a package containing some new shoes from Puma (I’m part of their weartest program). Later I received an email from Brooks asking me to do the same thing. Those will arrive in a couple days.

For lunch I met my dad and another friend (I have lunch with my dad every Thursday).

Throughout the day I talked and texted shared email with friends and family, including my two best friends, one of which emphasized his enthusiasm for his trip to my house next week (he has flown in to visit from Texas every single year since we graduated from college—10 years and counting).

After work I started dinner. When Tonia and Tanner got home she took over and I went outside and jumped on the trampoline with Tanner for a bit. Then we both went for a little run. During the run I got some great ideas for a book I intend to write.

When we got back, dinner was done (did I mention my wife works a full time job too?) and we all sat down together and ate while watching iCarly (awesome).

Tanner and I then took a quick drive down the road to catch the tail end of a car show. While we were there I ran into my sister-in-law who was watering flowers at my dad’s office, and Tanner was able to play a bit with his cousins. When we left I revved my engine and then squealed my tires the entire way home (Pontiac Aztek). Tanner loved every second.

Et cetera.
Et cetera.
Et cetera.

I left out a million things, and my night is far from over (I have a cheesecake cupcake waiting for me in the fridge—Tonia made dessert tonight as well).

Life is too short to live in a gloomy state. Don’t give anyone, or anything, the power to get you down.

Count your blessings and start smiling.

Filed under: Life

Successful People

*Originally posted on April 7, 2008

• Successful people accept life as it is, with all its difficulties and challenges. They adapt to it rather than complain about it. They accept responsibility for their own lives instead of blaming or making excuses. They say YES to life in spite of negative elements and make the most out of it, no matter what the circumstances.

• Successful people develop and maintain a positive attitude toward life. They look for good in others and in the world, and usually seem to find it. They see life as a series of opportunities and possibilities, and always explore them.

• Successful people build good relationships. They’re sensitive to the needs and feelings of others. They’re considerate and respectful. They have a way of bringing out the best in other people.

• Successful people have a sense of direction and purpose — they know where they’re going. They set goals, accomplish most of them, and then set new goals. They accept and enjoy a challenge.

• Successful people have a strong desire to learn: about life, the world, and themselves. They see learning as a joy, not a duty. They continually enrich their lives by learning new things and improving themselves. They are always discovering, always growing.

• Successful people are action-oriented. They get things done because they’re not afraid of hard work, and they don’t waste time. They use it in constructive ways. They don’t get into ruts or become bored because they’re too busy looking for new experiences.

• Successful people maintain high standards in their personal conduct. They know that honesty is one of the main ingredients in the character of a good person. They are consistently truthful in both their private and public lives.

• Successful people understand the difference between existing and living, and always choose the latter. They get the most out of life because they put the most into it. They reap what they sow. And they enjoy life to the fullest.

(ht: The Maverick Spirit)

Filed under: Inspiration, Life, Success

Jennifer’s Story

This is why I’m only drinking water for 40 days.

» 40 Days of Water
» twitter.com/bloodwater

Filed under: Life, Water

Life

“For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin—real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be got through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.” —Alfred D’ Souza

Filed under: Life, Quotes

The Mayonnaise Jar and 2 Cups of Coffee

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “yes”.

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

“Now,” said the professor as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things- your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions-and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car. The sand is everything else — the small stuff. “If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

“Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Ride your bike with friends or just feel the breeze. Play another 18.

There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first — the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled and said, “I’m glad you asked. The coffee just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.”

Filed under: Coffee, Life

5 Things

Five simple things a day to stay sane. ht

Connect
Developing relationships with family, friends, colleagues and neighbours will enrich your life and bring you support.

Be Active
Sports, hobbies such as gardening or dancing, or just a daily stroll will make you feel good and maintain mobility and fitness.

Be Curious
Noting the beauty of everyday moments as well as the unusual and reflecting on them helps you to appreciate what matters to you.

Learn
Fixing a bike, learning an instrument, cooking – the challenge and satisfaction brings fun and confidence.

Give
Helping friends and strangers links your happiness to a wider community and is very rewarding.

What would you add?

Filed under: Life

Bigger Than Us

Yep.

I still watch Hannah Montana on a regular basis.

Last night I heard again the lyrics to a great song. I sure wish I could find a version of just Billy Ray and his acoustic. Anyway, enjoy.

Bigger Than Us — Miley Cyrus

I see your face, I look in your eyes
What you feel is no surprise
Everyone needs something to believe in

Tell me your dreams and I’ll tell you mine
In our hearts we’ll look inside
And see all the colors of a rainbow
And I know

We all want to believe in love
We all want to believe in something
Bigger than just us
We all want to be a part
Of the greater picture
That’s hanging in our hearts
Yeah it’s bigger than us

I want to see beyond my own little world
Grab your hand so we can twirl around the galaxy
See the world with clarity
Oooo, oooo we have such a long way to go
But I know, we’re getting closer every day

We all want to believe in love
We all want to believe in something
Bigger than just us
We all want to be a part
Of the greater picture
That’s hanging in our hearts
Yeah it’s bigger than us

It fills the universe
Lights the skies above
And rescues all our hearts with love
With love…
That’s what’s bigger than us (bigger than us come on!)
It’s love it’s love that’s bigger than us
It’s love it’s love that’s bigger than us
It’s love it’s love it’s love it’s love it’s love it’s love
We all wanna believe in love
We all wanna believe something
Bigger than just us

*Did You Know?
I went to a Billy Ray Cyrus concert in the early 90′s.

Filed under: Life, Lyrics, Music

The Bucket List

Easily one of my top five favorite bloggers, whittakerwoman recently crossed another item off of her ‘Things To Do While I’m Alive’ list. Although I briefly considered something like this after watching The Bucket List earlier this year, I’ve never really put much thought into one of my own.

That said, I’m going to start one now. It’s going to be more of a work in progress, but at least it’s a start. I’m not sure mine is going to be as ambitious as Heathers is though.

• Adopt a child
• Pay off school loans
• Be 100% debt free
• Run a 10K
• Run a 1/2 marathon
• Run a marathon
• Run a sprint triathlon
• Go on a bicycle tour
• Visit every MLB ballpark
Wrigley Field, Yankee Stadium, Comerica Park, Tigers Stadium, Progressive Field, US Cellular Field, Ranger Ballbark in Arlington, Great American Ball Park, PNC Park, Citizens Bank Park, Dolphin Stadium, Nationals Park, Shea Stadium, Turner Field, Busch Stadium, Miller Park, Minute Maid Park, AT&T Park, Chase Field, Coors Field, Dodger Stadium, Petco Park, Camden yards, Fenway Park, Rogers Cetre, Tropicana Field, Kauffman Stadium, Metrodome, Angel Stadium, Oakland Coliseum, Safeco Field
• Attend a MLB Homerun Derby
• Attend The Masters
• Attend the Rose Bowl
• Teach a class in college
• Travel to:
Hawaii, Alaska, Colorado, Seattle, Oregon, Australia, Africa
• Visit Yosemite National Park
• Revisit Zweibrucken, Germany
• Read through the entire bible
• Volunteer at:
Soup Kitchen, Habitat for Humanity, Disaster Relief, Political Campaign, School, Big Brothers Big Sisters
• Lead someone to Jesus
• Coach a little league team
• See a moose in the wild
• See a whale in the wild
• Raft through the Grand Canyon
• Enjoy an alcoholic beverage
• Write a book
• See in concert:
U2, Sarah McLaughlin, Switchfoot, Keane, Trans-Siberian Orchestra
• Read:
Moby Dick, The Inferno, Don Quixote, War and Peace, Moby Dick, Crime and Punishment, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, The Chronicles of Narnia, The Catcher in the Rye, Frankenstein

Things accomplished before list was created:
• Lived in Germany
• Traveled to Paris
• Hiked Grand Canyon (twice)
• Traveled to Mt. Rushmore
• Traveled Hoover Dam
• Caribbean Cruise
• Traveled to Chicago, New York, Washington DC, Las Vegas
• Traveled to Spring Training in Florida and Arizona

What are some of the things on your bucket list?

Filed under: Life

A Brave New World

In a lot of ways this picture I took yesterday of Tanner, in his oversized backpack walking down the hall on his first day of Kindergarten, mirrors my current stage in life.

In the last few months I’ve been wrestling with the footprint I’m leaving in this life. I talk a ton about ideals and character, yet I’m doing very little of it myself. Just last night I was watching a documentary on Toms Shoes and thinking to myself how people like Blake Mycoskie completely get what it means to live out their lives in service to others—and thinking how tremendously I fail in doing that myself. I am constantly trying to perfect my life, while in the process neglecting the needs of those around me. That’s all got to change.

Like Tanner I have been adequately prepared to enter this new world of endless possibilities, and like Tanner I plan on facing this brave new world head on, and soaking up every second. Now I’ve just got to get a cool backpack to hold all my gear!

Filed under: Life, School, Tanner, TOMS Shoes