Fatherhood

Serendipitous, I’d say, that I stumbled across this blog post by Josh Brown today. It’s about fatherhood, and the exceptionally little amount of effort it takes to be a decent father (especially compared to what a mother does).

I say serendipitous because this morning I really felt like a lousy father. Once again I was upset with Tanner for disrupting my sleeping pattern. Instead of waking myself up an extra 30 minutes and goofing off with him, I sent him off. And angrily at that.

What I found most disheartening after reading Josh’s post is the realization that even with all my shortcomings, I’m still viewed as a pretty good father. Yet there are millions of the kids out there growing up without a father that even matches up to society’s lousy standard, which just blows my mind. Did you know that 94% of the people in prison are men, and 85% of those grew up in a home without a father? This whole discussion reminded me of a post I did a few years back called Why Do Dad’s Suck.

So today I felt a bit convicted and thought I’d make a few action items for myself…

• Appreciate my parents more, and let them know how much I appreciate them.

• Appreciate my wife more, and let her know how much I appreciate her.

• Spend more unselfish quality time with my son.

• Cherish the time.

• Listen to him more.

• Show more grace.

• Encourage other fathers to be more involved in their kids lives.

I want to continue to build on the solid legacy of parenting that my mother and father began. Don’t our kids deserve the best we have to offer?

Filed under: Dads, Fatherhood, Fathers, Parenting

My Dad The Stud

After turning 50 last year, and after being talked out of a pony-tail and a Harley, my dad decided to enter his first triathlon. There were about ten of us that thought it was such a great idea that we’d do it ourselves. The old man was the only one to actually follow through with it though.

What a stud.

On Saturday my dad entered the Flag City USA Sprint Triathlon. 750m SWIM, 23k BIKE, 5k RUN (.466 mile SWIM, 14.29 mile BIKE, 3.1 mile RUN). His goal was simply to finish the race. God must have wanted to make him stick to that goal because halfway into his swim his timing mechanism got knocked off his leg by a wild swimmer. No official scores or times for this guy. Only a sense of pride and purpose.

However, thanks to modern technology, the time-stamps on our cameras can give us an idea of how well he did. He can now feel even more proud that, not only did he finish the race, he did quite well for a first-timer.

Swimming – 19 minutes
Biking – 40 minutes
Running – 27 minutes
TOTAL – 1 hour 26 minutes

That places him 58th overall and 4th in his age group (Men 50-54).

Again, what a stud.

My dad continues to be an inspiration in my life. I couldn’t think of a better Father’s Day weekend than to have my father continue to show me how anything is possible. Great job dad! I hope I can be half the father to Tanner that you are to me!

Filed under: Dads, Fathers, Fathers Day, Pride, Sports, Triathlon

Fathers Matter

Rick Reilly is best known for his back page column in Sports Illustrated. Recently he moved to ESPN where he will contribute to ESPN.com, SportsCenter, as well as a new column called “The Life of Reilly” in ESPN The Magazine. For his first column he chose to write a touching story about his father.

Read his story here.

Filed under: Dads, ESPN, Fatherhood, Fathers, Fathers Day, Rick Reilly, Sports Illustrated

No Tanner, You Rock!

I had a hard time falling asleep last night. Too many things racing through my head. I ended up falling asleep on the couch around 3:00am as pundits talked about the Obama/Clinton situation.

When I woke up this morning Tanner told me he had a surprise for me hidden in the closet. He ran and retrieved the gift you see below. It says DAD ROCKS. He said it was supposed to be for Father’s Day but he just couldn’t wait that long.

Suddenly the worries of the world faded away.

Filed under: Dads, Fathers, Love, Love Wins, Sons, Tanner

Conversations with a Father

FATHER: Blue birds are rare around here.

ME: I’ve seen some blue birds.

FATHER: Don’t mistake birds that are blue with blue birds.

ME: **Nodding understandingly**

(See also Conversations with a Wife)

Filed under: Birds, Conversations, Dads, Elders, Fathers, Sons

Reflections of Fatherhood

So my dad hit a big milestone today—the big five-o. It’s weird to think that when we moved to Michigan in 1990 he was only a year older than I am now. That, sir, is the definition of time flying. It makes me wonder where I am in relation to where he was. I have a lot to live up to, that’s for sure. I know he doesn’t expect me to be him, or fill his rather large shoes, but the mold he left for me is one I intend to use.

It’s hard to say how proud I am to have the father I have (my mother too, but her 50th is just around the corner so she’ll get hers). The older I get, the more his legacy gets embedded into my heart. The story of his life would make the best sellers list easy. Married with a child at 17 and willing to do whatever it takes to make it work. He graduated college in 2 years with a 4.0, all the while dealing with a wife and 3 kids. Oh, and he came out debt free. Amazing doesn’t come close to describing him. A few years ago my dad was nervous just changing a light switch, but I needed someone to wire my house on the cheap, so he borrowed a few books from the library and wired my entire house, boxes and all. He passed with flying colors on the very first inspection. I could go on for days with stories just like these.

The old saying is true that you can never fully know a parents love until you have a child of your own. Ever since the birth of my son I’ve redefined my definition of love. And the more I realize the depth of that love, the more I realize that I’ve got the same thing coming right back at me.

I only hope I can be half the example for Tanner that my dad was for me. Happy Birthday dad. I love you!! May you be Forever Young.

Filed under: Dads, Fatherhood, Fathers, Legacy, Love

Why Do Dads Suck?

For the life of me I can’t figure out why there are so many loser dads out there. I look at my son and I can’t imagine anything that I would not do for him. Even when he gets a little crazy, and I get a little upset, I can’t stay mad at him long. He is as pure and innocent as it gets.

Yet there are so many men that deny their responsibilities. Not only that, there are a ton that don’t even care. And don’t get me started on the abusive ones.

…How? …Why?

I know there are passed down traits, but that kind of thing can be fixed. My dad is living proof. I am forever in debt to my father for putting a stop to what could have been a heritage of neglect. It’s my goal to continue this new heritage of love and responsibility. I wish I knew how to instill that thinking in other men out there.

Tanners mom and I are a team, so it’s not just the two of us like it is in Will Smiths scenario, but there is so much truth in this song concerning dads that it always gets me choked up.

Just The Two of Us — Will Smith

Filed under: Children, Dads, Fathers, Kids, Responsibility, Will Smith