The Whipped Man
I used to love cracking the whip at buddies of mine that had to go to the opera while the rest of us were going to play basketball.
I like to think I’m the least whipped man in the world, but yesterday I was on the phone with my wife and came to a realization that Tonia basically controls all of the decision making process. Then I got in my car after work and the DJ’s were discussing what constitutes a whipped man. Even this morning on a different station the same subject came up. So naturally I ask you…
What are the signs that a man is whipped?
May 15, 2008 at 8:55 am
first sign is that you live on 6 rego….oh wait…thats my address!!
May 15, 2008 at 10:06 am
Well to paint it plainly, you gotta find out who owns your balls? Next time you go to the bathroom check and make sure they’re still there. Some wives are sneaky and swipe them as you sleep. Other guys give them away voluntarily.
If you notice yours are gone, look for them around our house. Wives are tricky about where they hide them.
And if all else fails go here:
http://www.neuticles.com/
May 15, 2008 at 10:12 am
@stuartdelony: Quite possibly my favorite comment ever. It’s at least in the top five.
Heading to the bathroom to check now…
May 15, 2008 at 10:14 am
Anyone who has seen Russ’ dog can know for certain, his balls are M.I.A.
May 15, 2008 at 11:49 am
Well, fear of lighten the wrong candle cause they all have to burn a certain way is a pretty bad sign. Oh and that little dog is pretty bad.
Over all though, as long as you are picking out your own clothes, throwing your own parties, and typically catching a full NFL game every week, I’d say your man card is still safe.
May 15, 2008 at 11:56 am
mud- i don’t know if i’d call it being whipped. i call it being a fan of the nookie. and if your wife likes to withhold the nookie in order to get you to do something…then your love for the nookie outweighs any inclination you might have of not wanting to do said thing.
from the mouth of fred durst…i did it all for the nookie
May 15, 2008 at 12:21 pm
Sorry I’m late, I had to get permission to participate.
Oh yeah, but I’m not allowed to comment.
May 15, 2008 at 12:57 pm
@BUSH: I do believe you’re on to something there.
@Brandon: Don’t forget, I don’t do bathrooms.
May 15, 2008 at 1:27 pm
Does your wife drive the family vehicle while you sit in the passenger seat? You’re whipped.
Do you have a place in the house to call your own — like a ManCave? If not, you’re whipped.
Do you stand in the women’s clothing store and hold her purse while she tries on outfits? Oh yeah, you’re whipped.
That’s enough for now…
May 15, 2008 at 1:32 pm
Time for a woman to chime in…
This term really bothers me. Just because a man checks in once in awhile doesn’t mean, he’s not a man. I think marriage is too hard already. Men having to prove to other men that their men and their wives suffering in the background. I love that my husband makes sure he meets my needs before he runs out the door. I think that’s proof he’s a godly man and I appreciate it.
As for his balls I have not ever taken them nor do I want to.
May 15, 2008 at 1:33 pm
I found these top 10 signs you’re whipped:
• Going for a beer requires permission
• She makes your decisions for you
• You have a joint email account
• You go home when she’s ready
• You have a different social group
• She commits you to events
• You constantly worry about her reaction
• Your friends don’t even bother
• What you once took for granted is now a victory
• You’re no longer interesting, funny or desirable
May 15, 2008 at 1:37 pm
@Amy: Hmm… we seemed to have hit a cord.
May 15, 2008 at 1:39 pm
I would say if the first words out of your mouth when a friends inquires about an activity or even is, “let me check with my wife.” you’re whipped.
(I hope my wife doesn’t read that…
May 15, 2008 at 1:40 pm
@Amy:
Another sign….Your woman fights your battles for you!
May 15, 2008 at 1:54 pm
Just went to the bathroom and checked.
They are there and they are mine.
May 15, 2008 at 1:56 pm
weird thats not my avatar.
but those are my boys.
May 15, 2008 at 2:11 pm
Ummm…I think “withholding” is a terrible thing to do. And I know wives who do that. Not good.
Whipped? I like the word “Compliant”
May 15, 2008 at 2:25 pm
You know you’re whipped when you wake up one day and realize you’re fat. Women do the same thing with cats. a really fat cat just lays around and doesn’t get to testy.
May 15, 2008 at 2:27 pm
joint email account? that’s about as dumb as a joint comment!
May 15, 2008 at 2:38 pm
My husband came with a set of two! They sometimes do get tangled up, but rest assured, he gets a pair and I get a pair.
May 15, 2008 at 2:42 pm
@Selena: I swear. Do you really have man parts?
You’ve got me flustered here.
May 15, 2008 at 2:44 pm
No, I just have very absurd sense of humor. There is nothing manly about me…other than my pair of what we were just talking about
May 17, 2008 at 4:54 pm
I would chime in on what constitutes being whipped, but my wife has left me at the house with three boys while she is getting a massage and sipping champagne at some swanky spa. Because I am unable to answer said question without her assistance, I’ll provide her… ehemm… my input later.
May 17, 2008 at 5:28 pm
“…getting a massage and sipping champagne at some swanky spa…”
I use to work for a spa before I opened my own practice from home. Some spas serve champagne/wine so that clients will loosen up, buy more spa services and tip big. It’s a scam. Yep, you’re whipped!
May 19, 2008 at 5:01 pm
Speaking of the ‘nads.
If you look in your SO’s purse and find them,
right next to your free will…YOUR WHIPPED!
What? Yes Dear and I’m done fooling around
with my friends now. Do you still want
your feet rubbed?